The inevitability of my monotonous, gradually ascending trek to work kept me hiding in my house as long as I could, however the clock sped on and the boss wouldn’t appreciate tardiness; regardless of the tempest raging ferociously outside my window. At last I set out, attempting to gather up my courage which was conveniently escaping me like water in cupped hands; this wasn’t going to be easy. I wrenched open my door and the ice cold wind whipped my face instantly, my feet slipped on the frozen pavement, my hands benumbed by the unrelenting, icy gale. My destination was a blurry haze in the distance, a kind of frozen mirage – promising warmth and dryness. The uphill climb was fraught with black ice which was treacherous underfoot and I proceeded cautiously, the frozen slush that caked the road was not something I wished to fall into.
Thinking of the welcome I would receive once I’d reached the old stone building stirred me on. I withstood the icy temperatures and the perilous conditions alone. No one would have wanted to accompany me on this journey, not in that weather, the path was an arctic, barren stretch – I was alone. The houses that bordered the road provided little protection against the blasts of ice cold air that remained throughout my entire expedition. The clouds’ deluge was ceaseless and I was not even half way; the cold and wind were chilling my bones as though I’d been locked in a freezer for hours.
The sky was a dismal, squally grey which was reflected in the windows and frozen puddles surrounding me; my feet slid precariously on each patch of frozen water. I continued in this way for some time, the ice preventing me from progressing successfully. Time passed and my energy was ebbing away. The cold was merciless. The snow was unyielding. The wind was incessant. I was on the verge of giving up when the door opened, my boss shouted into storm and her voice rode on the frosty wind, “Hurry up!” I suppose she had a point – The 30 second walk had taken me nearly ten minutes!
Some great little phrases used here, particularly the simile to describe your courage. Your variety of sentence structures really help build and sustain a sense of drama alongside your symbolic language. This piece has a distinctive written voice, which will serve you well when you come to write your coursework pieces. I really enjoyed some of the comments which were used a little like asides - particularly "the boss wouldn’t appreciate tardiness" - which were both entertaining and perfectly constructed. I'd be tempted to skip the final phrase as it required you to step out of the voice you'd had up until then. Great stuff, nonetheless.
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